Paperwork and Chairs
by LadyAlambiel
Summary: "I am extremely fair and I am highly tolerant of your pranks. However, you have been getting into mischief far too often in the last five weeks. And, even I have my limits to what I will tolerate, especially from a knight who is far too sarcastic for her own good at times."


Disclaimer: I don't own Narnia or any characters you may recognize from the books or the movies, I wish I did but I don't...

Summary: "I am extremely fair and I am highly tolerant of your pranks. However, you have been getting into mischief far too often in the last five weeks. And, even I have my limits to what I will tolerate, especially from a knight who is far too sarcastic for her own good at times."

A/N: Oneshot requested by Elbereth Starkindler. Hope you enjoy it! This is part of my _A Light in the Darkness_ universe and a follow-up to the events of_ Letters_ Chapter 10 but can be read as a standalone.

**Paperwork and Chairs**

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I had tried being reasonable. I had tried wheedling. I had tried being stubborn. Nothing worked. Not one itty-bitty little trick of the trade I had tried thus far. I dipped my quill in the inkpot again and tried to remember what exactly had happened on the auspicious date of 12 Snowbrice 1002 that warranted a report (in my defense, the thirty-second report in duplicate I had to write and the details of that day were actually a bit fuzzy anyway...I really wished I remembered why). I sighed, then I sighed again as I failed to recall the incident for the date...and my annoying giant shadow was not helping one bit. "You know it's really quite distracting for you to stand back there and breathe on me, not to mention a wee bit rude."

He had absolutely no sympathy for me as I heard him step even closer, "As I told you the last time you brought this up, Dame Sepphora, I am doing exactly what I said I would do. I will breathe down your neck until you have filled out every last report waiting to go from your desk to mine and they shall all be overflowing with precise details worthy of a military report. Now get back to writing."

I frowned at the report waiting to be filled, "I don't remember what happened on this one. Can I skip it?"

I could feel the frown Oreius was aiming at the back of my head, "No you may not skip it. Fill it, make a duplicate report, and then move on to the next report."

I grumbled under my breath, but then I nearly snickered as I recalled in exact detail what had happened on the auspicious date of 12 Snowbrice 1002. That had been funny, although every senior officer in the army, except Sherket, had been less than amused by how I had managed to smear honey and feathers all over their personal quarters and the briefing room and basically every room with military designation except the armory...with the help of Peter and Edmund of course. I couldn't hide my grin as I quickly filled out the report and its duplicate then set them aside with the other filled reports.

My grin vanished when I realized I still had eighteen more reports to fill then duplicate. I needed a pick-me-up. Coffee, or...Snickerdoodles! I had made a fresh batch only the day before so they would still be excellent sugar and cinnamon pick-me-ups. I set my quill down and Oreius immediately reacted, "Just what do you think you're doing, Sepphora?"

I let a hint of petulance slip into my voice as I crossed my arms and looked defiantly at him over my shoulder, "I'm taking a break."

He lifted an eyebrow, "Oh really? Why do you think you deserve a break, Dame Sepphora?"

I scowled, "I'm hungry. And, I've been doing this boring paperwork for hours now. Come on, Oreius, un-cramp your sense of humor and have a heart. You can't expect me to work on an empty stomach."

He didn't even blink before he replied, "Perhaps you need to go on a survival training regimen if you are going to complain so readily about missing a single meal."

Ugh, survival training regimen was code for dropping me in the wilderness, near one of the borders, probably the Northern one so I can get stepped on by Giants too, and then I have to fend for myself by foraging until I make my way back to the Cair... And I had once thought Charlie's survival training regimen was the worst anyone could make it...Oreius proved me wrong and then some. At least Charlie would let me have MREs if I couldn't forage anything, the nasty ones that taste like rubber chicken even if it's supposed to be macaroni and cheese. Oreius was quite serious about forage or you're going to be very, very hungry when you finally drag yourself back into the Cair's training yard. It was brutal the first time, unbearable the second time, and downright miserable the third time. I didn't want a fourth time.

I picked up my quill and gave him my best hurt look. He responded by grabbing my head and turning me so I was looking at my desk again and then he gently pushed my head down, "Write."

I probably should have been at least a little nervous by the fact that I knew he could snap my neck in a half a twist, but I also knew with every fiber of my being that as much as I could and did annoy him, Oreius would die before he hurt me. Therefore, I just sighed dramatically (like any mature adult would), muttered in Irish about him being a mean grump, and began to fill out the next report.

My stomach growled loudly and I knew there was no way Oreius had missed that since it was only the fourth time in as many minutes. I dropped my quill into the inkpot and growled, "Oreius, will you please be reasonable?" I may have been terse, but I did say 'please' so I should get points for retaining my manners.

"I am being reasonable. You've eight reports and their duplicates left. Finish them and then you're free of all duties for the rest of the day."

I scowled at my desk, "No. I will not write another word until you give on this. And, why do I even have to fill out all these reports? All I did was pull a harmless little prank and you react first by chasing me through the Cair and then you toss me in the ocean and then you make me sit here for the past six hours filling out these ridiculous reports without anything other than coffee. I am quite hungry as you should be able to hear since my stomach's been growling non-stop for the past five minutes. Where's your sense of humor? Better yet, where's your sense of fairness?"

I barely stifled a yelp as Oreius abruptly spun the chair around so I was facing him. He braced his hands on the ends of the chair arms and leaned down so we were looking each other right in the eyes. "I am extremely fair and I am highly tolerant of your pranks. However, you have been getting into mischief far too often in the last five weeks. And, even I have my limits to what I will tolerate, especially from a knight who is far too sarcastic for her own good at times."

"Well, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"No."

I was silent for a moment as we stared at each other, "So, can I have a snickerdoodle?"

Oreius gave me a completely bewildered look, "A what?"

"Snickerdoodle. It's a cookie. I'll finish these reports and their duplicates without any more complaints if you let me raid my snickerdoodle stash. It's in the bottom right drawer of my desk."

He stared at me for a moment longer, probably wondering if I had put some sort of prank in the drawer, before he reached down and opened the drawer. Lifting the tin out, he opened the lid and I nearly sighed in utter happiness as the heavenly scent of cinnamon filled the air. I held out my hand, only for the ingrate of a Kentauri to reach into the tin and pull out a snickerdoodle and pop it into his mouth. Oh the pranks I could have planned if I had known he was going to do that... I rolled my eyes as he grabbed another one then set the tin on my desk...behind me...I hate him. He looked at me, "These are actually edible. They're also good...very good, in fact."

I shook my head, "Why is everyone surprised that I can cook?"

"You set the barrack kitchen on fire."

"I did not! Sarti caused that minor explosion and it was the small kitchen not the main kitchen and it was only slightly crispy in the end. When Sarti's not underfoot, I can cook just fine and without any explosive mishaps."

Oreius chuckled then popped the other snickerdoodle into his mouth before he spun the chair back around so I was facing my desk again. I snagged a snickerdoodle and bit into it as I started on the next report. I pretended not to notice how Oreius' hand kept snaking into the tin as I wrote. He ate probably fifteen of them...I had five. I finally finished the last report (on the messy but harmless prank I had pulled with the cakes and pies not even a full week earlier) and flexed my poor hand. "Done...and I think I have a hand cramp."

Oreius seemed to find my complaint entertaining as he chuckled then lifted my hand and pressed his thumb rather firmly against the center of the back of my palm, right over my star-shaped scar. The cramp ran away before I could even squeak a protest. "Better?" I nodded and he chuckled again, "Perhaps this will teach you why you should not wait to fill out your reports until you have six months' worth of reports waiting to be filled in duplicate."

I scowled as I pulled my hand away from his and rubbed my poor abused hand, "Well, if you didn't demand a report on every tiny thing, it wouldn't be so bad. And I hate paperwork, which is why I don't do it until and unless I absolutely have to."

"Oh you mean it has nothing to do with the fact that you know I find it vexing at times?"

I shook my head, "Nope, vexing you is a bonus not the reason."

"I shall have to remember that in the future."

A silence fell between us, then I shifted in my seat, "Umm, Oreius, do you think you could untie me now?"

He actually laughed at my question before he went about untying the scarves that had been pinning my shoulders and waist to the back of my chair. Yes, I said scarves. I happened to have some scarves lying on my settee from where Susan and Lucy had left them the day before...and unfortunately for me, Oreius had decided that he wanted to eliminate any chance of me leaping out of the chair and running away from all that...paperwork.

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Three hours after I released Katerina Alambiel from her chair, I was still chuckling at the look she had given me when I first tied her up. If looks could kill, I would have been massacred. Walking back into my quarters after meeting with the senior officers and the Royals about the results of my hunt for the Fell in the Lantern Waste, I began weeding through the fifty reports and their duplicates she had finally filled out that were now sitting on my desk. It was nearly Mayblossom and the start of a new year, a time for change and new beginnings, but I only held out faint hope that Sepphora would change so as to be a bit more timely in her reports from now on. I looked up in surprise as Katerina Alambiel abruptly entered my study carrying a chair. "Sepphora, what are you doing?"

She ignored me as she continued across my study and set the chair down in the one corner where I didn't have any furniture. She adjusted it then sat in it, flashing me a mischievous smile as she did so. "Perfect."

I gave her a skeptical look, "And, just what exactly do you think you are doing with that chair?"

She didn't even move from her seat as she cheekily replied, "The corner looked lonely. I fixed it."

I rolled my eyes as I realized she would not move that chair even if I ordered her to and if I moved it, I would find it right back in that spot the moment I left the room. She reached for a report sitting on a nearby table, "Don't touch, Sepphora." She stuck her tongue out at me and I rolled my eyes again. Apparently, Katerina Alambiel still hadn't learned her lesson about not being such a cheeky little pest.

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**A/N: Please Read and Review! Leave a review and let me know what y'all think about this one. **


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